Hmm... and as if the bizarre relatives weren't enough... Then, there's their psychotic pets... "Tuffy" Tuffy is my grandmother's 'dog'... Of course, based upon the fact that he eats steak and ice cream continuously, he might me confused... Now, this is an animal that anyone, aside from my grandmother would grow to hate... It's this tiny black rag muppet thing... She's convinced herself it's a poodle... Poodle my ass... It's a fucking muppet creature... Now, this little bitch is annoying as the fuck... It's favorite came is to run up like it's going to greet you and take a big chunk out of your leg... Of course, my grandmother thinks that's funny as Hell... I HATE that dog... It barks continuously... and blah blah blah... "Max" This is the dog from Hell... This is one of those damned Great Dane bastards... Gentle giants, my ass... Okay... picture this huge horse looking bitch running freely through a house... What the Hell?... When it wants food... it just sits it's head on the table... reaches it's tongue out and snatches what it wants... That's sick as the fuck... What's worse is it's tail is longer than my arm... so if you don't agree to letting him devour your meal, he'll smack you unconscious with that fucking tail and take it... But worst of all is, it hates hair bows... One time, I was wearing one of them scrunchy bitches in my hair... never ever again... Apparently, that damned dog didn't approve of the color, cause he cornered me... He jumped up... grabbed my hair bow by his massive teeth and threw me to the ground... I thought he was going to kill me... He grabbed me by the head of my hair and drug me from a bedroom to the kitchen... Can you imagine how painful that is?... Finally, after he yanks the damned thing out of my hair, it lets me free and spits the damned thing out... I hate that fucking dog... Just you wait, pooch... "Mr. Omally" This is the largest cat I have ever seen in my life... Now, my grandparents have had some big fucking cats, but this bitch is ridiculous... It weighs near 25 pounds... It's the size of a medium dog... It's fucking huge... How the Hell my grandparents get these animals to become these massive monsters is beyond me... It's like they inject them with steroids... Anyways, this fucking huge ass cat is contained in my grandmother's room only... forbidden to leave... where it spends its time, breaking lamps and sleeping the sink in her bathroom... Dumb dumb cat... "Mittens" Mittens was just a normal kitten... a cute furry kitten who liked to take naps in the dryer... I guess you know how this story ends... Well, my grandmother was drying shoes one morning... She threw some shoes into the dryer, right on top of the cat... but because they were shoes, the loud thumping was no indication that perhaps a small animal was contained in there... Sadly to say, Mittens was never the same after that... He was brain dead... My grandfather had to shoot him...